I’m seeing a lot of transphobia from cis women on here today.

I’m seeing a lot of transphobia from cis women on here today. Years ago, I didn’t “understand” trans women, either. And someone I was dating told me something that really helped me. I’m thinking about sharing it now. I’m on my phone so typos probably.

  • First of all, let me say that although I didn’t “understand” I also didn’t go around disrespecting trans women. I basically kept my lack of understanding to myself and didn’t shit on people.
  • I absolutely knew trans people and had casual trans friends. But deep down I didnt “understand”. So, something happened on social media, I think, where cis women were complaining that trans women wanted to be called women when they did not share our experiences.
  • I didn’t comment on what was being said, but later I asked the (cis) woman I was dating about it. I asked what was wrong with the idea that, as women, we have experienced certain things, since girlhood, and that trans women simply don’t have those experiences?
  • What she said to me was basically this: yes, it’s true that trans women don’t share our (cis) experiences of girlhood/womanhood. But ‘they aren’t claiming to*. They are claiming a *different* experience that is *also* womanhood. When she said that, it really clicked for me.
  • I was seeing cis womanhood and all of its shared experiences as womanhood, full stop. So, if trans women hadn’t experienced those things, how could they be women? What her words made me understand was that trans womanhood was different than cis womanhood but no less valid.
  • Anyway, that really helped me. I share it in hopes that it can help some of my cis sisters, those who actually want to “understand”.
  • Hopefully I’m not saying anything messed up here. Open, as always, to feedback (from Black trans women). I love my Black trans sisters and I want yall to have to deal with less bullshit. I really do.
  • I think for me, part of womanhood was oppression. Like, the shit cis girls and women go through in this patriarchal ass world is messed up. I was stuck on the idea that trans women wanted to claim that experience. It felt unfair.
  • When it clicked that LOL GURL NO ONE IS TRYING TO CLAIM YOUR EXPERIENCE PLS CHILL, it helped me see that a broader experience and representation of womanhood was possible.
  • She helped me understand that trans girls and women also have an experience of womanhood that is oppressed and we should feel solidarity with them, even if that oppression isn’t exactly the same. It has the same roots.
  • Only good thing that came out of that relationship, tbh.

Mia McKenzie‏

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